Jon Stewart Rips Right-Wingers A New One

    When Unarmed Blacks Are Killed By Cops

    No Wrongdoing With Benghazi

    Right-Wingers Fuel Racism And Paranoia

Monday, August 16, 2010

That Serious Statement ISN'T FUNNY!

Lindaman writes:

With everything on his plate, President Obama is trying his hand at stand-up comedy.

No, he's not. Liar.

During a speech at a fundraiser, Obama said that the slogan of the Republican Party is "No, We Can't." Wow. I'd slap my knee, but it would require me to actually think such a hack line was funny and I'm afraid all the hopeity-change in the world isn't going to make it suck any less.

He wasn't making a joke (not even the article says that). He was stating a fact. Yet again proving that right-wingers have NO CONCEPT of humor.

You, on the other hand, ARE trying to be funny with your "hopeity-change" line, which IS hack and has been said a million times by right-wing bloggers. That's why Obama's known for being well-spoken, and you're still a nobody that has to pay a company to make people hear you speak.

It's nice that the President is taking the time to take swipes at the Republican Party for being negative, but I think he should spend a little more time looking at the Congressional makeup. His party controls both houses of Congress and they have the votes (at least the House) along party lines to push through anything they want. Calling the GOP the "Party of No" may win you points with the Daily Kosmonauts, but it doesn't work with people who actually pay attention.

In other words, anyone who isn't a Leftist.

Oh, yeah. You pay SUCH close attention to detail.

If you actually paid attention instead of being a douchebag, you would know that the GOP can still filibuster.

And while we're here, why don't we take a closer look at what the GOP has said "no" to and why.

- Republicans said no to extending unemployment benefits recently because keeping people on unemployment won't get them back into a job. And right now, we need people employed more than we need them beholden to government. What will happen after this extension runs out? Wanna bet there'll be another bill to extend benefits out further?

So, are you in favor of having no unemployment insurance at all? After all, that would get people to work EVEN FASTER, right?

It's called unemployment INSURANCE for a reason. You pay into it just like any other insurance. Your logic is like saying having car insurance gives you incentive to get in a car wreck.

- Republicans said no to a health care reform bill written by the very industry that the bill would allegedly regulate because there was very little actual reform in the bill. Gee. Maybe that's why the health care reform bill was supported by the insurance industry so much...

Then why did the insurance industry whine like little bitches, and lie their ass off saying the reform bill would make rates go up?

You guys said no to a bill that DID reform a lot. Now lie your ass off some more and say that THIS isn't reform. Including no longer letting insurance companies deny people with pre-existing conditions. I know you guys don't give a shit about sick people over corporations, but that change ALONE makes the Dems better than you. And just wait till the trigger kicks in.

- Republicans said no to a stimulus package because they realized that it was the federal equivalent of a "honey do" list. The more we dive into how the stimulus funds were allocated and spent, the more we realize just how misguided it was to give away the money in the first place. All it did was make busy work for people who would vote Democrat anyway without actually doing much economic stimulation.

Covered that already. Not to mention we already covered how the right-wingers that opposed the stimulus take credit for it.

- Republicans said no to a government takeover of the automotive industry because government control of anything tends to make it less efficient and more costly. Plus, with the government's thumb on the scales, it's hard to know for certain whether the automakers who took bailout money actually stayed afloat on their own or solely because the government kept pumping money into them. Seriously, the Chevy Volt? It's a pimped-out Prius!

Meh, you can't afford a Volt anyway.

I love the right-wingers: To them, bailing out the American automotive industry and saving American jobs: Bad! Bailing out BP and sticking tax payers with the cleanup cost: Good!

And again, when the bailout did help... guess who tried to take credit? The GOP, of course.

- Republicans said no to Wall Street reform because...well, because it was exactly like the health care reform bill, only with "Wall Street" being substituted for "insurance providers."

Yep, just like health care reform. As in: It actually has reform, but right-wingers will lie and say it doesn't. Here's a few examples.

- Republicans said no to a mosque/Muslim community center possibly being built two blocks from Ground Zero because they understand that it's not about religious freedom; it's about radical Islam fooling enough people to allow them to put a mosque near the site of a terrorist act that they committed. Is there anyone on the Left who sees the problem with the location of this community center? I hope so, but I fear not.

Yes, it IS about religious freedom, you bigot. These are AMERICAN CITIZENS. They have the permits. They can put the center there.

1: It's not at Ground Zero, it's around the corner.
2: It's not a mosque, it's their equivalent of the YMCA
3: The man organizing this center was sought out by the previous president because he was a moderate imam who had been active in denouncing the actions of extremists such as Al-Qaeda.

This entire issue has been raised because the right-wingers know they can exploit the xenophobia and anti-Islamic sentiment within it's core constituency (racists, bigots, homophobes, hillbillies). To frame it as anything else is fundamentally dishonest.

Below is an example of why the right hates Olbermann. Stupid facts and shit:

Seems to me that the "Party of No" is on the right side of these issues. Sometimes saying yes to everything is the worst thing you can do. It's like asking an alcoholic who is having a rough go of sobriety whether he or she wants some booze. Once you say yes to something like that, it gets harder to say no because you're feeding the very thing that threatens to destroy us. All it takes is one moment of weakness for the slide down the slippery slope to begin.

That's hilarious, considering you guys had eight years to do something about all of the above issues, and wound up fucking it all up. You guys are alcoholics that already wrecked the goddamn car. But yet again, Democrats have to clean up the mess and bail you guys out.

As far as the slogan, Mr. President, let me help you. The Republican slogan isn't "No, We Can't." It's "No, We Shouldn't."


But what is funny, is that you claim Obama was trying to be funny (he wasn't). Then you try to be funny by stealing quotes from him, then failing at your attempts to be funny.

And they'd be right.

In your dreams, big guy.

You know what's interesting about right-wingers? They always have bad things to say about the left, but they can never say what's good about their own political beliefs (aside from "we DON'T do this, we DON'T do that..."). I guess it's because if they actually say it, the absurdity would be more obvious.

But hey, how about some more knee-slapping cleverness? You know, like saying "I'm not holding my breath!" again?